Five and Alive! Happy Anniversary!

I awoke this morning with a beautiful woman curled up next to me. In minutes, a beautiful daughter joined us. Moments later another beautiful daughter curled into our mutual embrace. How happy was I, embraced and embracing BCB and the LAs*?

I awoke this morning to the knowledge that I have been living five years cancer-free.

Wow.

I had planned to post something today about it. Then BCB handed me a letter. From her. It's the most wonderful gift she has ever given me.

Here it is in its entirety:

August 6, 2011
Dearest Ray,

You have much in common with this precious butterfly—a life-changing transformation; a metamorphosis.

Five years—that significant number that we have awaited for so long. Yet is seems like yesterday. The news you knew before you received it; the trip to Sloan; the surgeries; the pain; the anger; the grief; the recovery; life after cancer.

You have made significant choices for your life in these post-cancer years. While only you will truly know the inner turmoil, the abject terror that follows such a profound life experience, those who know and love you can plainly see the results of the many paths you have chosen to travel since you were diagnosed with—and survived—cancer.

Last year, on your fourth anniversary, you devoted a blog entry—and even changed your email signature line—to the concept of thriving. Not just surviving cancer, but climbing out of the survivor mentality that often stifles the question of “what’s next?” Well, I survived cancer; isn’t that enough?!

No, that has not been enough for you. You were not content to be a colorful caterpillar. You strove to become a magnificent butterfly—to use this life-forming experience to soar above the caterpillar while retaining the essence of who you once were.

Gratitude. You live from a place of appreciation—for your body, for your health, for the people who support and love you, for your life. From that place of gratitude you have mustered the strength—when often it seemed elusive—to accomplish amazing feats in your athletic, professional, and personal lives. You have set personal records and attained peak fitness and health; you have been recognized for your skills and acumen at work; and you have nourished rich and deliberate relationships with your daughters and wife.

Cancer brings perspective. Your survivorship has enabled you to see more clearly what is important in life. This attitude of thriving has drawn new (and old) friends to you. Your outlook is magnetic. The circle of friends you have made—in the activities you enjoy most—reflect your approach to life. Spin class, the Y, Race Pace, Pelotonia. You have made lasting friendships—an elusive feat in another lifetime. You have also made some heart-wrenching decisions as a result of this perspective.

Words fall short in describing the pride I feel on this day. You are an incredible human being, Ray Whitney. Your strength is astonishing. I am honored to be a witness to your metamorphosis (while I am your partner, the butterfly alone emerges from its own chrysalis; this experience has been yours alone; savor that). I am thrilled to be able to celebrate this momentous day with you.

I love you.

Perspective gained. I am a very lucky man.

*
BCB = Beautiful and Charming Bride
LAs = Little Angels