Scared

Constant Reader, this is a break in style. I'm seeking a lighter way to approach a heavy topic.

It's also notable in that this post published itself some days ago. It seems that I drafted it and set a future publication date, to force me to work on it some more. So it dutifully did what I told it to do. Only a handful have read it, so I am re-posting it.

Considering that today is the day the drugs start pumping, it's timely.

I'm running out of ways to phrase "I'm scared." So—to increase variety—I consulted a thesaurus.

Here's what I found (commentary in parenthesis):

• afraid (duh...)
• anxious (yep)
• fearful (right on)
• panicked (if I let myself be...but I have it under control)
• panicky (not a bit...seriously...I can be panicked without acting panicky)
• startled (nope)
• petrified (only in very particular moments, and only for a second)
• shaken (absolutely...far more than stirred)
• terrified (at times)
• aghast (nope)
• having cold feet (not so much)
• panic-stricken (nope)
• terror-stricken (nope)

Ours is a rich language, and it's flexible. My current personal favorite: "shit-stained".

What will be will be what will be.
I've got this.