The Making of a Cyclocross Addict (Part 1)

This is a cautionary tale...

It happened slowly, imperceptibly.

Yet, it happened. I'm addicted to 'cross. (See! I'm even calling it by its nickname!)

Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer...

While recovering from shoulder surgery I spent a lot of pain-filled time sitting in a comfy chair watching TV. Through serendipitous scheduling and the miracle of the DVR, I watched a replay of the 2008 cyclocross world championship.

It looked interesting, but it was crap TV. The leader was out in front for so long, it was boring. There wasn't any strategy, and all the riders were so good, that the obstacles seemed routine. I preferred watching the Tour of California.

The summer road season progressed. Other riders would mention 'cross. They would speak reverently about the coming season. Some guys were on 'cross bikes with road tires.

"Meh," I thought. Not for me.

The year flowed on, and I was hearing more. I kept reading about 'cross during my morning surf. Blakedo, my spin class instructor, talked it up. Then I was blindsided by the Adventures for the Cure crew.

Attack of the Polka Dots!

The Tuesday group ride had become a highlight of my week. I loved that my 40+ year old legs were competitive with the 20-somethings on the parcourse (Sure, they had competed in Ironman events, marathons, and centuries each weekend prior to the ride, but that's no excuse!).

Then some dude in a polka-dot skinsuit showed up. He was strong. I had a hellish time staying on his wheel on the Harriet Tubman climb. He dropped me, and I looked like a punch-drunk fighter, dazed and bewildered. He made it look easy, the arrogant (unmentionable)! God, I hated him.

Over the next few weeks, I got to know Jay PolkaDot and his white Klein a little He had a good sense of humor, and the roadie arrogance I'd perceived was really my imagination. He was a good guy, and his strength forced me to step up and get better.

Then the other shoe dropped. He brought two of his teammates, and all hell broke loose.

Unassuming, friendly, and riding beat-up bikes, his "teammates" proceeded to kick our arses up and down the hills and around all the curves of Howard County. And they were on fixies.

Effing fixies.

My fragile ego was crushed. My roadie arrogance crumpled; my confidence plummeted.

The two "new" members of the polka dot crew, it turns out, were the winning two-man team in the 2009 Race Across America.

Oh, and one of them is a Type I diabetic who rides with an insulin pump.

Effing hell.

So, what has that got to do with 'Cross?

The polkadot crew are serious 'cross riders. (In fact, Mr. Insulin Pump just got promoted to Cat 1.). Between arse-kickings, they talked-up cross.

Cyclocross Everywhere

Being the curious sort, I added cyclocross to my morning surf. I was exposed to the sub-sub-sub genre of "POV Cyclocross videos with indie rock soundtracks", courtesy of In the Crosshairs.

They were kinda cool.

I dug deeper and watched video of training sessions, where the subtle skills such as "dismounting you bike at speed without falling on your face" and "remounting your bike without performing an auto-orchiectomy" were taught to eager, rosy-cheeked, pneumatic-thighed participants.

They were entertaining.

Then, lo and behold, I learned that there was going to be a race near me; and not just near me, but at a park near and dear to my heart!

The Schooley Mill 'Cross was scheduled for November 21st, the weekend before Thanksgiving. I read about it in August, and I knew--deep in my heart of hearts--that I was doomed.

...On to part 2